Spain Update #8: Joy Thieves & the Plight of the Vulnerable

Okay friends, here it goes. Recently something happened to me that threatened to break my spirit. The person involved was what I like to refer to as a: Joy Thief. As with most difficult situations, I decided to figure out what I learned from it. And I want to share this experience with you – in case anyone can relate. I’ll elaborate… 

Now, I will be the first to claim that positive energy repels negativity (meaning that usually when you start living a happier life, those negative people around you become unrelateable and foreign – they usually no longer fit into your life, and they leave naturally). But this situation I encountered, it was a whole different animal.

Some people are in such dark places that they will try their hardest to latch onto you like a literal leech. They are sneaky enough to see your vulnerability, will grab ahold of it without you even realizing it, and then try to shake you to your core. They want to see you self-destruct. They want to see you harden. It’s a type of situation that, I’ll be honest, I’m not used to seeing. So I let it affect me. I got upset and closed off. I lost some faith in my fellow humans. I thought seriously about going down a dark path (revenge came to mind) – but then I decided to remember who I am! *Queue the latest Lizzo song.*

I consider myself an open person. I try my hardest to be vulnerable because I believe that vulnerability is the key to a happy life. I am also a fan of removing any bad vibes from my life, as a general policy. But, just like every human, things got to me. But you know, instead of continuing with a cycle of negativity, I will let it be known that I still have compassion for the person I am referring to. May they find happiness one day. May they feel love and kindness, even if they don’t grant that to others.

So with all that said, here’s what I learned about Joy Thieves this week…

1. Shut down the interaction and shut your mouth.

Some people can’t hear the truth. They aren’t ready to hear they are hurting – and in these cases, telling them about it (even in the form of just wishing them well) will only harm you. Sometimes it is better to shut up and silently send good vibes from afar because with angry people, anything you say will be misinterpreted. Walk away!

2. You are Learning to Balance Your Vulnerability.

Being open is essential in order to feel love. But, along with that, we must not absorb others’ negativity. It’s an exercise of controlling our perspective and being mentally strong. It takes work. Vulnerability is like a muscle that we must work out if we want it to be healthy and strong. So keep going. Take that hit, friends – it’s making you better!  

3. You Can’t Bring Out the Best in People.

I am a firm believer in seeing the good in every person. We are all the same, under the surface, and our lives have molded us uniquely into who we are. No one is all bad – and the ones with a lot of “the bad” are really hurting. The thing is, it is not our burden! And no matter how much love and kindness we shower on someone, we aren’t going to bring any good out that they don’t want to show us. Recognize that toxic is toxic, and you ain’t changing anyone!

4. Having a Connection is Only Part of the Equation.

Just because you vibe with a person does not mean they are on your level. Lots of things are circumstantial. If you aren’t getting the respect you deserve, or if you feel like someone is bringing you down, they aren’t meant to be in your life – plain and simple. Let it go and realize there are more connections to be made with better, more balanced people. 

5. Compassion is the Only Way Out.

Some people will go to great lengths to try to steal your happiness. Don’t let it harden you – because then you are letting them (and their darkness) win. Remove the source of the poison and then look back with acceptance and love. This love can be in the form of pity for their sad situation or gratitude for what they taught you. Everyone in our lives is teaching us something, especially the ones that hurt us. This is a test of your strength. Free yourself from the bad vibes by changing the way you look at it, and you’ll be much better off.

So cheers to life’s lessons, challenging interactions, and situations that sting us – wishing you all the best, friends! Let’s keep learning together.