Almost everyone at this point in my life knows I’m moving to Spain. I’ve received a lot of questions on the move. Why? What will you be doing? Aren’t you scared? Here’s the skinny…
Estes park is a great town. It has some of the best views in Colorado with some of the easiest access to actual cities that a mountain town could have (1 hour to Boulder or Loveland). The people are nice, the amount of wildlife is unreal, and there is a national park right next to it! With that said, the town is small. Everything is closed by 8pm. There isn’t a lot to do really, other than hike or ski (which are both huge perks actually, even after you’ve exhausted all of the trails already).
The thing is that we are young. We want to grow and learn. We like to socialize and hang out late talking with diverse people from diverse backgrounds. We want a challenge. We don’t want quiet and comfortable. And to be honest, the last thing we want is small town drama (you know, the kind where everyone knows everyone so you can’t just avoid people… or their drama).
Then there’s the job. Joseph has been a police officer for 11 years. In that time, we’ve both been affected by some pretty intense things as part of that job. He’s been blamed for awful things, and we’ve received death threats. There was a time where he worked 22 hours straight (with a fever) trying to establish some order amongst the atomic bomb-esque impact of an F-5 tornado. He’s had to try to calm parents of deceased children (also a result of the tornado) and guard a killer who beheaded a complete stranger. He’s chased people, and had people try to stab him, and had people target him. And it’s time for it to end.
I’ve watched my husband change from a bubbly, positive, fun-loving guy to a negative, paranoid, doubtful person at times. That job changes you. It forces you to put a guard up and sometimes makes you feel pretty miserable with life. And I am proud to see that he wants to seek a healthier, more positive route to this short life we have. I’m so happy to see him dealing with PTSD, working on himself, and realizing that you can do anything you want if you are just brave enough to make a change.
And then there is the Spain trip we went on. In August, we were blown away. I couldn’t believe how vibrant and friendly everyone there was. The culture, the singing, the soccer (Hala Madrid!), the castles – the sun! We honestly felt at home there, everywhere we went. I’ve been trying to learn Spanish for awhile, and everyone was so willing to help me with it there. When we came back from that trip, we realized that our world here was too small, too comfortable. We decided we had to leave.
We will be going to school for a year in Barcelona, learning Spanish with other expats. We have a chunk of savings – our flat and school is already paid for. We aren’t planning past that year yet, though we know we will likely want to stay. I plan on probably looking for a finance job over there (if I don’t run off to South America to tutor kids, haha), but we need to figure out what we want first.
Why does it feel so weird typing the last part of that sentence? Like we are supposed to ALWAYS know what we want. When the reality is that I’ve never known what I wanted – because it’s always changing. (I love that about myself, by the way. Comfort zones are for the birds.)
Here’s the deal. You have one life. You can take that life and mold it to your desires, or you can be scared and hide and let life happen to you. If you are unhappy, it is your responsibility to change something. You are responsible for what you make of your short, precious life. I’m not lucky, and no one should be “so jealous” of me. Because you can freaking move to Spain too if you want!! We have chosen to take a risk. And I honestly couldn’t be happier with this decision.
Now, along with this choice comes some downfalls. It’s really scary to make a huge change in your life. I have anxiety about leaving what’s comfortable. I’m sad to leave some people I’ve gotten close to and honestly love so much. I’m worried about regretting what I said or didn’t say or just leaving in general. This is something that always happens when you change something. But the fear means I’m growing and learning – and that’s really all I want out of this life.
So thanks for reading, friends! Stoked for what is ahead.